Anger Management: Warning Signs + Anger Thermometer

 

A lot of people have this problem where their anger seems to come from nowhere, they feel fine one minute and the next they say or do something that they'll regret for other people. This problem is even worse it feels like they go from 0 to 100 in an instant. They go ballistic but the reality is anger doesn't come from nowhere, anger starts small and it grows gradually. But when anger is small it tends to be hard to notice here's the good news even if you don't consciously notice your anger starting to grow your body still reacts you might start to sweat a little bit your face might turn red you might raise your voice a few decibels without even realizing it. We call these reactions anger warning signs with a little bit of practice you can learn to use these warning signs to your advantage to stop anger and its tracks. Let me tell you how I like to think of anger warning signs in three categories:

  •         Actions
  •         Physical symptoms
  •         Thoughts  

            Action warning signs are anything that you do differently as your anger is starting to grow. For example, you might become argumentative or raise your voice or maybe just the opposite maybe you lower your voice look at your feet as if you're trying to avoid confrontation. Physical symptoms are changes that happen to your body outside of your control. For example, sweating, shaking, turning red, feeling hot, or shallow breathing. Thoughts, these warning signs include changes to the way that you think as your anger is starting to grow. For example, you might become really fixated on the source of your anger or maybe particular thoughts go through your head like I've been disrespected, or this is unfair.

Now everyone has their own personal warning signs you might relate with something that I've just described or you might experience something that's completely unique and personal to you one of the best ways to learn about your own anger warning signs is with an anger thermometer you can do this on a worksheet or a blank sheet of paper to begin write the number 10 at the top of the paper a number down to one leaving a few blank lines after each number, next imagine your anger on a ten-point scale a 10 is angriest you've ever been while a one is completely calm think of the time. When your anger was at a 10 what we're angry warning signs in that moment maybe you became argumentative physically aggressive and maybe your body shook with rage whatever it was write it down try to think of all three categories actions physical symptoms and thoughts now go down to the bottom what are you like at a 1 on the scale maybe you're friendly relaxed or agreeable whatever it is write it down. Next go to the middle of 5 on the scale at this point you aren't calm but you're still a pretty long ways from a 10 write down the anger warning signs that you have at this point and finally let's try to fill in a few blanks along the scale for example maybe you know when you're just starting to get frustrated you sort of tap your foot maybe at a 3 write that down along with any other warning signs that you can think of now all of these items these are your anger warning signs the items at the bottom of your thermometer they're especially valuable because they're gonna give you the most advanced warning that your anger is starting to develop once you've learned to catch your anger early it becomes much easier to control you can come as situations rationally rather than emotionally that means you can put yourself on warning use your relaxation skill or just walk away if that's what it takes now catching your anger warning signs in the moment won't be easy at first it takes practice so to start you should review your anger thermometer every day just to keep those warning signs fresh in your mind and if you do have a slip-up where you have an angry episode that you don't catch in time that's okay but use it as a learning opportunity the next day take a look back and ask yourself what clues did I miss now with practice you will learn to catch your anger early and this is gonna put the power back in your hands.

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